think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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