Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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