Just took my morning after pill in the library
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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