I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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