It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
