she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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