He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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