Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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