i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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