I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
