Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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