i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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