Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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