I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
