So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Semen is not good for contacts.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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