her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
