It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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