She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize