I'm so fucking centered right now
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
