Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
