i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
