At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
