okay pat passed out under dana's car
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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