I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
