Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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