That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
