I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
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