I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
