hotel room ftw
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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