It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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