Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
