if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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