halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
