I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
