It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
All the doctor said was why
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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