Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
