if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
