dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
