community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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