In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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