I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
