she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
