I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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