summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
