I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
