lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
