I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
