You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
