yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
