How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
