Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
