Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
