they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
